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The concept of nonviolent communication (NVC) has been introduced in the late 80s by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD in clinical psychology. Influenced by Carl Rogers, whom he was a student of, Rosenberg has developed a method of interpersonal communication that is simple and structured to facilitate relationships and enhance them with empathy.

Avoid elements of violence in your communication:

The first step to communicate without violence is to avoid:

* Label: we classify a person in a category;
* Put Downs: we deny the qualities of another, or reality, attributing causes to the environment or the context;
* Reproach, or worse, insult: we assign to others the responsibility for our annoyance, anger, frustration …
* Merit: we condition action to reward or punishment;
* Comparison: we evaluate ourselves against other;
* Demands: we use verbs such as “have to”, “must” … or we use an accusing and threatening “you”.

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The 4 Stages Of Nonviolent Communication:

Rosenberg breaks down the process of nonviolent communication in four stages: observation, feelings, needs, requests.

* Observation: “I observe a specific behavior that affects my well-being”

Firstly, observe what really happens in a given situation. What, in the other, contributes to my welfare or on the contrary to my irritation, even my aggressiveness? The key is to understand the situation by way of any order or any assessment.

* Emotion: “I react to this behavior with an emotion, feeling”.

This a phase to question our inner emotional state at the moment. Am I happy, sad, angry, etc.. ?

* Needs: “I identify the needs, desires, values that have awakened this feeling”.

This phase is about discovering the needs behind those feelings.
For example, a person who says “you never understand me,” expresses the fact that his need to be understood is not satisfied. The “non violent” expression of that need could be: “I do not feel sufficiently understood.” Similarly, a woman who delivered a reproach to her husband as a “you come home late every night,” expresses an unmet need for privacy or support.

* Requests: “I ask the other concrete actions that will contribute to my well-being”.

Awareness of these three components (which can be expressed or not) leads to clear and sincere communication. The time of expression is the “requests” stage.

In addition to this process that applies to oneself, MB Rosenberg enriched NVC with another dimension: empathy. It teached us to give time and space in the dialogue that the other needs to express himself and feel understood.

Non-violent communication is often presented as the method to follow the four steps above. But in fact, what is said is far less important than the intent with which it is. Because if the intention is that the other do what we want, it is not nonviolent communication. The intention, in fact, is a very different matter. Our intention is to create with one another a certain quality of energy that will ensure that the needs of both are satisfied and that everything they give to each other will be given willingly. When speaking with this consciousness, then the mechanics of the four steps is very useful. But if one believes one way or another that the other has a hidden purpose behind the use of this method, or possibly they are not as interested in our needs than in theirs, the mechanics will not help and will be useless.

To know more about NVC…
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To explore more, check out our practical guide: “Relax Your Neck & Shoulders”.

How: At least once a day, for 5 minutes, brush energetically (with your palm) or tap (with your lose fist) along the energy meridians. It is not necessary to know their path by heart or exactly. Here is a simple exercise that does it for you:

Arms: Reach your arm out, palm facing the ceiling. Brush/tap the inner side, from the armpit to the palm, and then the outer side, from the hand to the shoulder to the neck. The direction is important, because it follows the direction of the vital energy flow in the meridians. Repeat on the other arm.

Legs: EOpen your legs. Brush/tap the inner side of one leg, from the ankle to the groin, then the outer side of the leg, from the hip to the ankle. Brush the back of the leg, from the buttocks to the heel. The direction is important, because it follows the direction of the vital energy flow in the meridians. Repeat on the other leg.

Feet: Brush the top of the foot, then the sole of the foot. Massage and stretch (and even pull) each toe. Many meridians start or end at the toes. Repeat on the other foot.

Tummy: Gently rub in a circular movement, along the edge of the ribs, the hip bones and the pubis. Then in a smaller circle around the navel. The tummy holds many vital organs, and each vital organ is crossed by a meridian.

Head: Massage/rub the scalp on top of your head, from the forehead to the nape, then on the sides from the temples to the rear of the ears. Many meridians wind on the head.

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They were going to the new world. Life would be so much better there.

And as the great steamship started out to sea the family was on deck, with everyone else, to wave goodbye to the land they had called home. It was not terribly hard to wave goodbye, for they had left nothing at all behind. Everything was gone. They had only their hopes and they had their sack of turnips. Life would be better very very soon.

So each day the family would come up to the top deck and enjoy the sun and live in their belief that they only had to wait a little bit longer for the something better that was coming in North America.

There was one problem. While on the deck it was impossible to miss the aroma coming from the galley and the view of the great dining room with the massive buffet. It became increasingly difficult to face the sack of turnips. It wasn’t long before the children could no longer be coerced to come out into the sunshine. The smell of the wonderful food that they could not have was too much to bear. Indeed, by the eighth day neither the children nor the mother would leave the windowless cabin in the bottom of the ship. The father was feeling helpless in a way that he had never experienced before. By the tenth day no one, not even the father could eat even one bite of turnip. Something had to be done.

On the evening of the eleventh day, feeling helpless and broken the father went out to find the Captain of the ship. This was absolutely the most difficult task he had ever set for himself, for he was a very proud man.

The normally so cheerful Captain slowly lost all expression as he stood before this poor farmer, hat in hand, telling his story. The father, finally, with halting voice, begged the Captain “to please allow… at least the children, to have just one pass at the wonderful buffet, just one meal, please”.

The Captain was visibly moved by this plea. He touched the father’s shoulder, and… as gently as he could, said, “my very good man, all ticket holders, including your whole family, are entitled to all meals”.
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Our beliefs colour our view of what is possible
Our beliefs drive our choices
Our beliefs drive our behaviour
Our behaviour drives our results…
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After your first attunement, which happens during Level 1, Reiki flows naturally from your hands when needed, and does not run out. You can then progress further, or stop there if you wish. There is no obligation to become a Master!
To watch Reiki in action: video here

Anyone can learn Reiki. Reiki is not a religion, and does not interfere with your personal beliefs.
There are many weird rumors circulating about what happens during and after a class. Please read our article “Reiki: Urban legends Vs Reality“.

Reiki Level 1 (Beginners)

You gain an understanding of Reiki, its principles and history, you are attuned and learn how to give a treatment with specific hands positions, to yourself and to family and friends. The focus is on physical healing, yet there is no need for anatomy and physiology knowledge to give Reiki.
Learning Level 1 is a great way to be able to recharge yourself anytime when you feel drained or weak. Also, you can indulge your loved ones, and it is a beautiful gift they will truly appreciate!

Reiki Level 2 (Advanced)

Three symbols, their use and meanings are imparted to you. With this knowledge, you can direct your healing abilities towards emotional and mental healing, as well as healing at a distance (space, time). You learn advanced healing techniques, and session protocols.
Consider Level 2 if you wish to:
• extend your healing repertoire to all spheres of the body
• learn how to cleanse, protect and empower objects, space, intakes (food, medication, etc), groups, situations
• work on all living beings (pets, plants).
Prerequisite: Having completed Level 1. Minimum time between Levels 1 and 2: 3-6 months.

Reiki Level 3a (Mastery)

You are imprinted with the Mastery symbols. You explore valuable knowledge on the spiritual and esoteric aspects of Reiki. You get complex knowledge about the vital energy, subtle bodies, chakras, etc. You can now use the full range of Usui symbols, and treat on all levels of the human being: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.
Prerequisite: Having completed Level 2. Minimum time between Level 2 and Mastery: 6 months-1 year.

Reiki Level 3b (Teaching)

You are imprinted with the Attunement symbols and taught the method and ethics of attunements and certification. You explore the responsibilities of teaching Reiki. You can now use the full range of Usui symbols, and teach and attune students.
Prerequisite: Having completed Level 2. Minimum time between Levels 3a and 3b: 6 months-1 year.

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Discover how you can be attuned remotely, no matter where you live!